I spend all that time longing for you, craving you. I spent all that time burying myself, deeper and deeper, and then having the audicity to look for me. Or try. Or so. I spent that time wishing, thinking, being sorry and more sorry. I spent a time of nothing and soft despair if that exists even, what am I saying even? I spent a time of absence, nonsense, completly gone. And, oh, scary, very. I even spent a time, I have spent a time of absolute complete nothing and within me and in me and me, all.