I hate myself, what the fuck am I gonna do??

long hours static and praying to the heavens
florests coats, sun at 9 in the morning and a whole lot of questions
yesterday I wore black, but today I wear green
and I never knew which of them fills my soul.
I went to court to judge a sense of self
turns out they were liars who tried to fuck with me
and now I just wanna go home.

by the way, I watered the flowers in your garden
just as promised, just so you know I didn't forget that,
But I just couldn't make myself call you when you missed school
deep inside I know why I couldn't
and now I am gonna take a stroll in the woods, on the verge of an abandoned mansion
and decaying decades of carnivals
and there's a storm coming but hell, I'm not coming back,
especially now.
If you wanna come, join me, but don't talk about John and his new girlfriend
I'm tired of him and all of his girlfriends
and boyfriends, and everyone

just join me at dawn next to inquisition square
and let's do something that seems worth it for once.